We have get-togethers with our families and close friends often. At this point, I know what they like to eat, what they like to do and how to make an evening enjoyable for them.
But with this group- I was unsure. Though we have been to dinner with them many times, I had never entertained them in my home, had never fed them... and didn't know what they would enjoy.
And Troy is NO help.
I had asked him for weeks..
Me: "honey, what do your coworkers like to eat?"
Troy: "Huh? How would I know?"
???
I can tell you my coworkers' favorite foods, drinks, restaurants, snacks (day, night time & seasonal based), food known allergies, dislikes and current cravings.
What's his problem?
I wanted this group to have a nice evening. They are all hard working, busy people. If they were willing to give up a Saturday evening to be with us.... I wanted them to enjoy it.
And I wanted to be a good "chief wife" for my husband. I didn't want the hospital talk to be all "geeze, do you remember how boring the 2013 party was..... and what was up with the food???"
His chiefly reputation was at stake here.
I can not tell you how sweet, gracious, appreciative and complimentary this group was. They ate plenty.... (oh thank heavens, they DO eat carbs).... they laughed and relaxed and couldn't have been any sweeter.
I loved hosting dinner for them and hope to do it again someday.
I know all too well of the journey these new first year residents are about to embark on. I've lived it with Troy. I know about the busyness of surgical pathology, and the frozens that keep you until late in the evening. I know about chemistry call when the pager goes off all night. I know about noon journal club, glass slide unknowns, autopsy conference and the nervousness of signing out cases with a brilliant attending. I know about the pressure of research and perfecting presentations.
I know.
It's a lot. It's hard work and a reminder of why not everyone earns an MD.
And though these new residents didn't ask for my advice (my husband is probably surprised that I didn't stand up and give it on Saturday evening).... I have some.
My advice would be to remember that this journey is impossible to do alone.
No matter what exam you've aced or what accomplishment you've obtained thus far.... you alone can not be a successful resident.
It takes a village to get you to the end.
Remember that no matter who you aim to impress or who you'd like to win over...... no one will think higher of you than your spouse......
No one will love you, support you, or fully understand what you're going through like the one you come home to at the end of the day....
They will see you through it and remind you often of why you began this journey....
And no matter the project, the pressure or the expectation ..... remember.... your babies are only little once......
...and asking someone to cover for you, help you, or step up for you...
so that you can be there for them..
is more than worth it.
And as much as your spouse and children will love you through it..... nobody knows what attending to make fun of... what patient caused the biggest laugh....or what a true "terrible day at the office" feels like.... other than these people.....
So make them your work family. Your foundation and your support.
Because more than anyone.... they know your journey.
They know your feelings and your fears.
They have walked in your shoes.
And if you don't yet have a spouse or child..... no worries.... because, it takes the ENTIRE family to get you through residency anyway.
My parents spent most of Saturday at my home. Mom helped with food prep .....and when the rain cleared (just in time!), she helped me turn the back yard into a party in nothing flat! Dad helped Troy set up and run errands... and the girls texted me all day saying they were keeping their fingers crossed about the rain. They were thinking of us too.
Troy and I went to bed late the night of the party leaving behind a huge mess.
Sunday morning, he had to go down to the hospital to do an autopsy. He told me not to touch the party mess, we would deal with it when he got home that evening.
While he was gone... Mom, Dad, Jason, Sam (and even Abby!) showed up and broke down, packed up, loaded up, and cleaned up the entire mess.
What usually takes all day, took a couple of hours.
Troy called on his way home that evening and said it was a difficult autopsy. He was exhausted, sore, and dreading the clean up at home that would take all night. It had been a very long and hard week for him.
I didn't say a word.
When he got home, I called him to the back yard to get started.
He turned the corner.... saw that it had all be cleared, cleaned and perfected
..... and immediately he became emotional.
Because Troy knows..... he has seen first hand....
that in all aspects of residency....
it takes a village.
All of my love and best wishes to Brad, Chiara & Katrin!
We hope to be a part of your "village," and are so happy to have you!
-Kristin
